In dark clouds

 Today in rishikesh I am so doomed after eating panner I had approx 150gms since morning to satisfy my protein as well as energy needs 

the food elimination is always painful I can't have 80-90% of the food options available coz they cause more inflammation whenever I see stories and struggles of people going through everyday pain trying to manage it I feel so sorry that some human are just sent on this beautiful earth to struggle and fight till very end

wish I find an exit here soon and can help out my fellow people I don't know what options I am left with vs how much more time I have but that boils down to below things

1. find out if there are more endo patches if yes what are the locations of them 

2. try panchakarma at Haridwar 

3. visit a couple of Ayurveda dr

4. need confirmation on adenomyoma

5. to read more about mirena, pregnancy and hysterctomy 

6. try elimination methods of endo and fibromyalgia to figure out the possibility of your back pain 

AAh, It feels so draining even to write this or think this don't know how long I'll survive in this battle or struggle if something happens tomorrow I'll be proud that I gave all I had to come out of it and I wasn't at fault 

sometimes being strong is not a choice or an option but the only way out there.

growing up with a lack of care attention witnessing all emotional abuse fights the little kid inside me always craved for love which she never got 

wishing to be unconditionally loved for a day to forget all the pain, misery, sorrows be it nature's love some unprivileged kids, tree, animal, dog, a human 

you tried ur level best in all the fields and stay strong the universe will fall in love with ur stubborn heart of not giving up 

it's not ur fault and u'll have to prove urself 

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